ReCent Success of WEbsite inspires Founders to Form a Board

Since its inception, Seaside Resurrections has acquired a large, loyal following of animals that desperately need the earth to sustain them. On April 1, 2023, the founders of Seaside Resurrection announced the formation of their first board of directors.

“It was very important to us that we create a board that not only represented our love of crafting and upcycling, but also held us accountable to the planet,” said Chief Upcycling Officer, Bronwyn Ferrell. Along with Editor in Chief and general website custodian, Christy Claxton, she set out to place the most qualified individuals in their newly finished boardroom.

Chairwoman of the board will be Cinderella Ashes.

Although Ms. Ella Ashes is a beautiful memory with a beautiful box as her home, she is the inspiration of most of Ms. Ferrell’s day to day creations. Ms. Ella Ashes will serve as Chairwoman of the Board for a perpetual term. Her qualifications include extreme vanity, smelling shoes, and dodging children.

Rounding out the board are:

Ms. Kauai Hen. Ms. Hen and her family have lived on the Island of Kauai for countless generations. They have established the only known place on earth where chickens cohabitate with humans without fear of becoming Sunday dinner. Ms. Hen is passionate about ocean breezes, snails and sunbathing. She is the inspiration behind Ms. Ferrell’s constant remodeling of her patio furniture.

Although his water experiences have mostly affected fish colonies upstream of the ocean, Ms. Ferrell and Ms. Claxton felt it was important that there was Alaskan representation on their board. They choose Mr. Chilkat River Bear.

Mr. Bear brings great swimming, hunting and show-off experience to the board. “Although he’s known to be a bit of a nuisance, we felt he belonged on the board. Mr. Bear has agreed to not eat Ms. Hen,” said Ms. Claxton. She also said that after tense discussions, it was agreed that cows can serve on the board.

Ms. Hen cast the deciding vote. “We’re happy to have cows on the board. Although they get a bad rap for producing too much methane gas, we do believe they can offer much needed insight into droughts and scarcity of water sources for inland animals,” continued Ms. Claxton. “Based on the cows’ recommendations from cousins in Costa Rica, we are very happy to announce that Mr. Howler Crankypants will also join the board.”

“Crankypants isn’t our favorite monkey, but he is vocal and intimidating enough to be the perfect champion of tropical forests,” added Ms. Ferrell.

Although it was the most controversial addition to the board, everyone agreed a mean little chihuahua should be part of the group. This little cartel boss known only by his code name – El Maton Gordo** runs a dirty corner street on Isla Holbox; just north of the popular island tourist destination, Isla Mujeres. It is estimated that Maton Gordo has well over 100 dogs patrolling this gorgeous Island in the southern Gulf of Mexico. “Think of him as law enforcement of beach polluters and generally unpleasant tourists,” said Mr. Crankypants.

The final member was picked by Ms. Ferrell, as she’s lived on the patio for many years, and she always brings the good tidings of spring each year. Seaside Resurrections is pleased that Ms. Chameleon de Patio agreed to serve the organization. Although she’s unavailable about 4 months of the year, her springtime appearance always lifts the spirits of all who know her.

Seaside Resurrection offered these final thoughts:
“We’re hoping climate change and landfills don’t interfere with this board’s important work, and we look forward to centuries of cooperation with all of them.”

**Maton Gordo translation – Fat Bully